Analogue Boy In A Digital World.COM

formspring.me

2011-10-24T02:32:00.001-04:00

What's On Your Mind? http://www.formspring.me/danielwarhol

formspring.me

2011-05-17T15:38:00.001-04:00

Random or RanDUMB: I'll answer it. http://formspring.me/danielwarhol

What's your favorite kind of snack to eat?

2011-04-05T16:29:00.001-04:00

Oreo Cookies.

Ask me anything

Tori Kelly - "Only Girl (In The World)" by Rihanna

2011-02-26T01:39:00.000-05:00

I love listening to Youtube Artists

Video: Diana Ross + All 5 Children on Oprah [Entire Episode]

2011-02-26T00:30:00.000-05:00

Video: Diana Ross + All 5 Children on Oprah [Entire Episode]

BLACK LOVE

2011-02-23T01:49:00.000-05:00

Words can not explain how beautiful this video is...

I love this kid...

2011-02-14T02:43:00.001-05:00

Andrej Pejjic is my #1 model....replacing both Jon Kortajarena and Andres Velencoso Segura.

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE THE QUEEN....

2011-02-14T00:42:00.003-05:00

This was funny.....

2011-01-18T05:29:00.003-05:00

My brother made a beat about this....

Shout out to DJ MikeQ

THIS TOPS EVERY BEYONCE BITCH MOMENT

2011-01-14T03:55:00.004-05:00

The funniest shit I ever saw......the closest one would probably be Debra Wilson on Mad TV

(I actually do like Beyonce....just not a big fan)

THIS IS the actual film it came from.....I remember this now that I saw this clip...It was called Truck Turner

(BONUS: SNIPPET)

Malik Wright shows why he is the 40 Million Dollar man.

2011-01-10T23:57:00.003-05:00

Obviously a publicity stunt since the show is about to come on....i aint mad at dude. If you got it, flaunt it.....If i wasn't in grad school, i'd do the same thing.

POWERFUL MESSAGE FROM MARSHA

2011-01-06T22:16:00.004-05:00

Marsha Ambrosius from Floetry does a good job of relaying a message regarding social awareness and gay bullying...i wish more music was like this.

"Erratic Plus"- New Year, Blah Blah Blah

2011-01-04T00:00:00.001-05:00

I never expected to receive such positive feedback from my last post regarding my inner thoughts and perspectives, but i realized that this was mainly why I started this blog...to release such thoughts in an effort to cleanse myself...which is really what my Facebook and Twitter are all about. I'd normally start the new year off with something I considered doing for the new year in regards to Resolution: unfortunately i do not have one. I stopped making them a while back and instead was interested was improving myself in the NOW vs. something I said I would think to do and eventually forget. I've maintained my "realness", I did my best in academia, i studied my art more in order to become a better artist, and I also stayed true to myself. Things i am still working on is my body (Im on Day 70 of P90x as i type this) and I am also working on becoming a better public speaker (I talk more online than I do in person.... simply because I can say everything exactly the way I want to say it.)

But lately I have been dealing with a lot of things that have hindered me in terms of being free in both my movement and also my self-esteem as a person....

I come to NYC specifically for three people: The beautiful bitch, her faggot friend, and the hustler of dreams.

FIrst, The Beautiful Bitch.

I always get allured by pretty exotic faces, not knowing the shit that you have to go through to get with them....even if it means changing yourself to get close to them. Sometimes you have to sleep with their friends, schmooze up their parents, and sometimes lie just to get their attention, all the while when you FINALLY get to them...the nasty bitch gives you a fuckin' STD (sometimes) and then no one wants to fuck with you....all because you wanted to get with "the BEAUTIFUL BITCH"....

That Bitch is "FASHION" or rather the "fashion industry"....

I come to NYC mainly because of a want to be plastic.....to be plastic in this industry. I first came in this industry, wanting to be a beautiful "bitch", but I got tired of doing all that it took to be plastic and "Hollywood"....by cutting my hair off (in order to not look too ethnic), ripping my body up (to be a size 31 from a size 36) and clearing my skin, changing my eating habits, changing my clothes, changing my attitude, etc. However, I heard things from people saying I would never make it in fashion, and that I should be a porn star instead. Then i worked out severely over the next few years (even training when i was in Africa)to get to a size 32, and of course i wasn't good enough. By that time the skinny waif look was back in and i had to be at least 160lbs. mind you at my skinniest i was 168 and that was when i got "off line" for Sigma and they said i looked very very sick.

But after that I gave up trying to be the Beautiful "Bitch" and decided to just be "Beautiful"...I Started working out for me, and decided to take up something i always had passion in, which was photography....but it's just as hard to get in this industry....because there are SOOOOOOOO many of us (photographers). It's like so dog-eat-dog, and people will bash you behind your back, and smile in your face....people only hire their friends, instead of talented individuals....and that's why you have alot of shoulda-coulda-wouldas. The only problem is not that they "didn't", but more that they "COULDN'T". One thing I learned about the fashion industry, is that It is NOT WHAT YOU KNOW, BUT WHO YOU KNOW....AND MORESO WHAT YOU WILL DO.

I have been casting couched......I wasn't put to the test, but I was definitely tried...... There are nude photos floating around of me to this day, because of wanting to be a "beautiful bitch", basically agents, and stylists, asking me to send them naked pictures in order to see my body.... those same people tried to come at me on a gay tip (yeah, they were men.... and there was even one female stylist who had a thing for young meat) but i did it because I wanted to be in the industry.... and a lot of OTHERS did it too... and most of them are making the big bucks..... while being pimped out by their bookers. It was very hard on me, because like the last letter, I had a want to be beautiful, but in the modeling industry, i was liked in a different way, not model pretty but "boyfriend pretty"....and moreso the "cute guy you want to fuck" than "boyfriend pretty".

and that continued to me being a photographer. I feel like Marc Jacobs [I think I'm Tom Ford], like i'm shot more now than i am when i was actually trying to be shot as a model. I ask to shoot with agencies, and they ask for MY pictures....some wanted me to come to their house and spend the night (NO LIE) and they dangled their new faces on their board in front of my face...I had stylists who only used me for my camera.....to get niggas they wanted to see naked (even if they weren't models but good-looking) and would ask me to only send them the naked photos...people who lied and said they would get me spreads, when really they just wanted to get pics of the guys they wanted to have sex with or wondered what they looked like naked. I even had
a photoshoot i did for a friend, who wanted to see me naked (which i didnt mind, because i know his rep is a bit different when it comes to his nudes...they don't show anything "homoerotic") and as soon as people saw he shot me nude, they asked him to see pics of my dick, ass, etc. Not to mention one person once finding out the size of my dick being big, at the hands of my friend, he hits me up now, when he rarely did it before, especially to shoot. It's sad that even as a photographer, i can't escape a lot of the politics, and the griminess in the scene, ESPECIALLY amongst the black people in the business, it makes me only want to deal with white business people who work with Black models, because at least it's a more easygoing circle than the other.....

The other reason I come to NYC is because of the faggot friend of the beautiful bitch...

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THIS PORTION OF MY NOTE MAY PROVE VERY CONTROVERSIAL TO SOME PEOPLE....AND IT MAY BE SEEN AS DISCRIMINATORY , AND FOR THAT I AM SORRY. I PRAY THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE IN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY DO NOT TAKE THIS WRONG ...I AM NOT BEING SELF-HATING...

"Me and the faggot friend sometimes had a very artificial and transparent relationship, because of not being close to the beautiful bitch....So i would sometimes use the faggot friend simply to gain enough confidence to talk to the beautiful bitch, when all it did was make me seem like a faggot, which i sorta kinda was. It got to a point where more faggots started to talk to me simply because of hanging around a lot of faggots, and less beautiful bitches wanted to FUCK WITH ME. it later fucked up my self-esteem and I ended up simply taking on my role as a "faggot friend" of the beautiful bitch."

The Beautiful Bitch in this scenario is Heteronormative Culture.

The Faggot friend is the LGBTQ Culture.

Me being lumped in the middle as a bisexual, led me to a lot of conflicting views of what i wanted out of life. I started out fucking with women, and later on bc of my own self-esteem and insecurities started dealing more with guys...majority reason being that they were EASIER to get....(I was being a coward)...But truth be told...alot of the rights the LGBTQ community continue to fight for, I feel every citizen should have the right to have, but I don't want them, because i never wanted to get married to a guy, never really seen myself growing old with one, and i really hate being in public with effeminate men or any men who is openly gay. I don't like going to Pride events, because I don't really have "Pride" in this identity I can't control at times. I censor myself alot and feel like i am always being judged in public. I never wanted to hold a man's hand unless in the bed during sex, and I try to remain unattached when it comes to sex. I never messed with a women while with a man, because I am very fragile when it comes to women. I don't want to hurt them like my father did my mother.

I got tested for HIV on December 22, 2010 and i found out i was NEGATIVE...meaning i did not have it...even when alot of my exploits would have found any other guy positive. One of my close friends confided in me that he found out he was Positive, and it SCARED ME...because truth be told, he seemed more "careful" than I was. I made a promise to Allah that If i had come out Negative, i'd try my hardest not to have sex with another male....i'd rather jack since it's safer...

I made that choice, because it's not the life i want for myself....I want a wife and kids, a big house, and a great career, and be happy and in love...not worrying about getting checked every 6 months because social stigma thinks HIV/AIDS is a "gay disease", or wondering what new hot thing may be trying to take what's yours...or the "wandering eye"....Even in the ballroom scene, this scene is just a big cesspool of revolving doors, broken doorknobs, and revealed secrets....It's not the family that I once knew....it's full of random people getting fucked in the house, getting fucked before they are kicked out......older people spreading diseases without a care because of their own bitterness.....an increase in politics due to a want to REMAIN RELEVANT and ADORED. and just a lot of unneeded fights and broken relationships simply over a trophy and a couple of dollars. I came into this scene under the notion that I was coming into a family of love and care, when my character has been changed to where I don't even know who I am anymore....I become more outspoken, but more dependent...i've become a person of high-esteem, but for only one sex. I've become one of the most acclimated people academically in the culture i am in due to disparities having a dire hold on the condition for marginalized communities to learn, but it does nothing for me in the real world because of the aspiration to become loved, popular, and liked. I feel like I no longer wanted to walk balls, because I felt like my category was becoming something i no longer liked or loved....I don't feel i am "REALNESS" not because of being effeminate, but because I am only being myself....Gender is all performance, but i feel i am not taking extra precautions to "act straight" because I just act this way without thinking about it. Many niggas walk off the floor and instantly act "cunty" or effeminate...I don't. I remain the same way OFF the floor as if i was still ON it. Truth be told: Realness is Deception. So this 2011 year I want to make better strides to have a girlfriend....one who really loves me...

the only problem is my MASTER'S THESIS RESEARCH is rooted in me being a part of a community I am no longer interested in.

I PRAY THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE IN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY DO NOT TAKE THIS WRONG ...I AM NOT BEING SELF-HATING...I JUST DO NOT WANT TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL PRACTICES WITH THE MALE SEX. I AM ALSO NOT BEING DISCRIMINATORY BY USING THE TERM "FAGGOT". IT'S NOT MY INTENTION TO BE THAT WAY...IF YOU FEEL THAT WAY, I GREATLY APOLOGIZE FOR IT.

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The last friend I always come to NYC for is the Hustler of Dreams on the corner of 42nd and Times Sq.

He picked me up in a black limo on my first day there....Five years later, he stays on my Blackberry before I come to the city with messages of inspiration, "you can do it....let's get it this time. YOU CAN DO IT....You're the best". He stays in my ear from borough to borough. From E Train to MTA Bus, to taxicab, to the wearing out of my timberlands as a pedestrian amongst thousands hoping for that one spot. He shines lights on pamphlets he stole from seasoned tourist attractions, and makes sure to point at the luxuriousness of events put on in revamped warehouse spots with women draped in furs, and Frenchmen smelling of old cigars and old money. Schools remain disguised amongst old milestone buildings, while neon signs pointing to the local immigrant spots selling pilfered goods for inflated prices light the darkened sky.
I look around at All of the Lights in the City That Never Sleeps as other hopefuls stop with their frozen faces in the winter cold to take a picture in front of a building they may NEVER gain entry or set foot inside of. I listen to my IPOD packed with my NY Playlist of Inspiration, ending with the voice of the Hustler fading in my ear "You can do it........You can do it...." Turns out he was from the Bronx....I oughta punch his ass in the fuckin' face.

That man is the American Dream.

Every year I get bamboozled....by false promises and high hopes when I come to the city. I always end up living like a gypsy with a huge suitcase, staying for a few days to a week, to sleeping in bus stations attempting to live out my dream.....Then i start to realize that this DREAM, is nothing more than a tourist attraction itself. People think of NYC as Bright lights and the "Concrete Jungle where dreams are made of" not knowing that many of those dreams are the dreams of homeless men and women on the streets of NEW YORK (or any major city) of people who spent their last dime trying to make it. I used to have dreams of being a big photographer (and i still do, but i was influenced by people who simply wanted to use me....or fuck with me, or steal my own ideas)I used to have dreams of being a somebody in New York...to walk the streets with a home to go to at night, a great job in the morning. Maybe a drink at the local bar with other people who laugh at my jokes and genuinely like me. But i sort of aim a little lower.....I feel like I am sort of wasting my time in school, having earned not one but two Bachelor's Degrees, but also am a semester away from a Master's...Working at a top urban magazine...and am uber-talented...but i have little experience...and i can't get it because the people i know....only use me for their own benefit or don't want to fuck up their own job security. EVery aspiring job inquiry is an "I Don't Know".

You have to pay for twice the cost for half the space in New York City for an apt because the city is just SOOOOOOO GREAT.....You have to work for HALF the dime at a "great" magazine, because being IN THE MAGAZINE is GOOD ENOUGH, you should work for free. You have to buy a new suit simply because without it, no one will give you the time of day because NEW YORK IS ALL ABOUT APPEARANCES....You can't be nice in this city, because being nice and COOL will only make people forget about you and take advantage. Better be about business too, or else people will cancel on you and just say FUCK your time...as if you are just a nobody...and truth be told, if you act too friendly, you ARE a nobody...

In the year 2011 I did one thing so far: Started to reexamine my entire outlook....i decided to take more control of my art, and not really give a damn about what others want me to do for them.....I am gonna become a great academic, and follow that career path....because right now I don't feel as if where I am going is where I should be....I'm not gonna be nice...I'm gonna just be real...because that's all I have ever been.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2011-01-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

This time, it's fuck everybody's opinion, but my own...

Day 64 of P90X

2010-12-27T03:19:00.001-05:00

#Random I Have to Admit....

2010-12-21T00:58:00.002-05:00

He may be a douchebag, asshole, and a jackass....

But he is a talented ass producer who can take a damn good picture...

I Love Magazines

2010-12-17T19:32:00.000-05:00

Doll Face

2010-12-17T01:26:00.000-05:00

This says a lot about society....

I Loved Bjork for this video.

2010-12-16T23:57:00.008-05:00

Bjork talks about love in Nick Knight-produced video "Pagan Poetry" in such a profound way...and by talking i am not simply saying through words, but her performance. She speaks of the binaries of love (hot-cold, good-bad) while preparing for her wedding day (Alexander McQueen made the dress by the way). The pearls being strung throughout her body and her piercings is almost like a form of self-gratification. Like a form of sadomasochism-a type of pleasure she gets from her pain. A pain that is both satisfying to her because of the pleasure she gets from it, which is reflected in both the graphic content of her piercing process, as well as her lyrics "He makes me want to hurt myself......I love him". It's as if the feeling of love, is so gratifying for her (pleasure or pain) that no matter the sensation, the rush she gets from it is satisfying enough. I LOVE THAT.

TRUE ART, FOLKS.SHOWSTUDI): Nick Knight on "Pagan Poetry"

To Lee McQueen, With Love...

2010-12-16T23:32:00.001-05:00

Bjork + Nick Knight + Lee McQueen + TONS OF TOP BLACK MODELS= PERFECTION

Tribute to Alexander McQueen by Nick Knight, music by Björk from SHOWstudio on Vimeo.

QUACK is CRACK

2010-12-16T23:21:00.003-05:00

I like this model....ALOT. Her name is Quack.

THE FASHION BODY: HIPS

Sissy Bounce, Sissy Nobby, Nick Knight and SHOWstudio present Quack from SHOWstudio on Vimeo.

As an African-American male model, I've taken immediate notice to the fact that you often chose subjects of color in your photos and art. How do you answer when OTHERS ask you, "Why is that? How do you go about selecting & working with your models?"

2010-12-15T17:40:00.001-05:00

Oooh I LIKE THIS QUESTION....I honestly do it cognitively both because of my own attachment being Black myself, and the lack of visibility in the modeling industry. I feel that we have a LOT of variety within our community and it should be displayed in a conducive way that is truly telling of our overall beauty and capabilities. However, I have worked with many ethnicities before, and depending on the subject matter my work calls for, I will choose who i feel is appropriate.

Ask me anything

"Erratic" (Streams of Consciousness)

2010-12-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

I remembered being in the 6th Grade, and my spanish teacher (Mrs. Williams) read something I wrote that had a suicidal innuendo to it, and she counseled me for a good 30 minutes after class....and one of my similar friends at the time (Enoch Foster) told me the best thing he did when he got very frustrated with things is to write in a journal......Since that day I kept journal after journal and it escalated from my journals to my poetry, and then it escalated from my poetry to my ART...and later to my Facebook, which ultimately is my journal in realtime.

I have been quiet about a lot of things and it's gotten to the point where some things I kinda just want people to know, and many things I feel it's not anyone's fucking business....
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I feel like I am 24 going on 35.....and when i say that alot of people who know me know what i mean...I never acted like a kid, always been serious and straight-faced, because the life i had growing up leaved very little happiness other than STAYING alive. I put emphasis on that because my biological father was a COLDHEARTED IRON FIST who always struck it when opportunity presented itself and my mother was very much an opportunist at times who looked after herself, but i always respected them, even when my friends would say things like "Damn, Floyd" and i always loved them, because there is good in everyone...I envy those people who can smile without problem because i never got a chance to, and when i did i found solace in solitude...I push people away in fear of being betrayed and disappointed...

I am the most fearful now than i have been in my entire life...because truthfully I have no clue where I will end up...I went to college because I wanted to get away from my life in Gary, Indiana and i see how years and years of that experience killed some people both literally and mentally) and I wanted to get out and see the world....so i broke my back to do well in college, because it was either that or work at some place like McDonalds for the rest of my life. My mother kicked me out the house while I was still in college because she could not support me, sold everything she could (most of it my stuff in tow) and moved away and I had NO CLUE where she was for at least three years. I remember staying with random people i knew because i knew i had no home to go to...when i graduated college (Magna Cum Laude B.A. in AAADS and a B.A. for Sociology) I had NOWHERE to go, and everything I owned is what i have in the apartment i stay in now...so I worked my ASS OFF to get in grad school, moreso for the increased income I would get to better my life, and also it was either school (to get the money to live with) or work (and it was the recession, knowing I had little experience other than a rinky dink job or two, and an internship with VIBE (something i applied for EVERY year since 2007 to get and finally got in 2009 and it folded on me) so i stuck with school. Now I am back in the SAME situation where i am working my ass off to get into a Ph.D program, knowing many of the things i accumulated in the past 5 years will be lost, and I will leave with less than I have...

...Part of me developing the persona of "Daniel Warhol" was a concoction of many things I did not see in Floyd Daniel Hobson III....Most of it is my affinity for Andy Warhol, the pop art icon who basically dominated every form of art medium in his time, which is what i ultimately want to do...another aspect of it was wanting to run away from my life as Floyd D. Hobson III. I hate the fact to this day that i carry his name (my father) and tried to deviate myself as much as possible from my father. I kept Daniel to keep the part i loved about myself, and mostly because I was young my grandmother told me the story about Daniel in the lion's den from the bible and how I always got myself out of sticky situations, as if i were blessed by God.

Last summer, I was in a very dark place....because of the situation with my dad being abusive and being addicted, I am very cautious to who i let into my life...and because of my mother abandoning me and the nature of many other members of my family.....I have deep-rooted issues of abandonment. So much that I am the type of person to latch on to people in my life...I won't speak candidly on this issue by saying names, but there were many people in my life who i trusted so deeply that i let them control my movement in more ways than one...who i spoke to, who i became detached from, how to act, etc. and it became so deep that i never saw what was happening. I wanted these people to be so much of something that they weren't (even if it was the person they presented to me) and it changed me to becoming so dependent. I saw that I never could be the person they associated with and i willingly tried to change myself in order to fit the mode, and part of that was doing drugs....I can identify so deeply with those kids who committed suicide because I was one of those kids....and last summer I almost succeeded, and was sent to the hospital by one of my father figures, and it really showed me who my friends were. Even AFTER I was released people who truly cared tried to speak some sense into me but i didnt care. and it wasn't until THIS YEAR, i finally understood what was happening then...People need to understand, it's not just physical abuse or taunting that is bullying. It can also be MANIPULATION...telling people what they want to hear just so you can get what you want out of them...especially if they are impressionable...and those people who do so either have mental illness or are trying to fill a void they lack themselves...I am happy to say I am well now and am in a better headspace....

I found what i really needed to do was find MYSELF and love myself and not expect someone else to do it....and when i started doing that (and still am doing that) I found so much to live for...

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This is the first and only time i will speak candidly about this:

"Are you sure you are gay, Dada?"-Banks

My fear of abandonment and my want to be nothing like my father i feel is what triggered the physical manifestation of my bisexuality. I always knew i was "Queer" (albeit "different") but i never did anything or acted on it until two years after I deaded my relationship with my first girlfriend at the time and part of that was due to a feeling of not being good enough...In Layman's terms, i felt ugly..and dudes are more open to their attractions for someone (especially in the gay community) and it was EASY to get with them, and did LOADS for my self-esteem. I will say this one thing...I didn't grow up believing i was GLBTQ, so in that sense i was self-hating. and still partially am....I still LOVE and adore a woman, and want to have a wife and kids and a big yard, steady career, and be ultimately happy in my life...but i feel the biggest pain in being bisexual is that I may never have that, bc of my attraction to the same sex. and even after being with men sexually, I never really liked it, which is why I never did anything with any of the dudes i was in relationships with other than kissing and groping a little, and if i did more than that i was under some sort of mind-altering influence....bc many of those relationships are very trivial, and spontaneous. The guys i dated was more of an emotional attachment, which rarely happened, because many people [not all] were just stuck on the sexual attraction of it all with me. Out of all of the courting relationships i have had...only one i truly had feelings for (mainly because he believed in waiting, and not just having sex from jump, and i respected that from him)...but at times i felt as though i wasn't enough for him, or i felt as though it wouldn't work out between us. Many of the people i know in the community, didnt have lasting relationships, albeit with other spouses, or their own children if they have them, and i never wanted that to happen to me...when i was with men sexually, i sometimes wished that it was a woman bc it's truly the life i envisioned for myself....I never wanted to be in the middle, it was either one or the other, and because i was not successful in one side, i veered to the other because it was easier.
Part of me also strayed away from women because of my father being a wifebeater as well as a "player"..The way he violently abused my mother and my sisters, it made me scared and vulnerable to women, because i feared (and still fear) that i will one day become my father (the biggest memory i have of my dad is watching him rip the earring out of my mother's earlobe and watching streams of blood flow onto her clothes)....It was hard to come out and say i was bi, because of the stigma attached to it. Gay men see you as being confused, and women see you as DL and the cause of HIV in women...not knowing that there is more than just that binary in existence. As i grow older, I despise the sexual nature of the GLBTQ community, especially being a Muslim, because nothing can come from it in my eyes. I fight my urges every chance that I get, but it's so much a part of myself now that I can't help it. I pray to Allah that I can find someone who truly makes me happy, and that it is Inshallah, someone who betters me...someone of his choosing.

(I never revealed any of that because I was afraid i'd be outcasted even more than i am now...and that people would view me in a light based on my identity....and not just all of who i am.)

Anyone who knows me....knows how self-conscious I am. Some may call it narcissism, but i look in the mirror everyday and try to find things I love about myself...I study my body more NOW than I ever did in my youth. There was a time in my life where I literally would pray for God to make me beautiful, because i didn't feel beautiful. My sisters would say i was ugly because i was dark..and my mother used to even say i was adopted...the first time i prayed for it was in the 8th grade on my 14th Bday. my very first girlfriend I now attribute to making me feel like i was worth something...when we broke up i took it hard...that partially led to my love of the ballroom community, because it made me feel special, bc up until i met people in the ballroom scene around the age of 17 I felt worthless, and i started to truly love myself more because others loved me, or at least how i looked. I craved attention at that time and in my adulthood had developed in me nerves of steel, almost to the point of paying 10 bucks every Wednesday to go into a club like Splash or even Christopher Street in NYC SIMPLY to walk around for an hour or two just to get those "looks" (you know the look-where you know someone is checking you out). However, now at the age of 24, I find beauty in my appearance (with the exception of a fault i can change as we all have...), but up until then, i willingly worked my ass off to make every other aspect of me better, to where i dislike the shallowness now. What i mean by that is praying for beauty and craving it so much developed beauty in myself in totality, to where i want people to see other parts of me other than my physical appearance. and the constant struggle in me with my sexuality makes me dislike those same guys i used to like getting compliments from, bc usually all they see IS my appearance.

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I pretty much said all of this to say that i am human. A human who deals with many conflicts, and many deep-rooted issues...there are parts of me i hate, and parts of me that i love....but most of all that i am growing as a person...Part of me wishes that I can be one of those people who can smile at life, but ive becoming so numb that it led me to be a glass half empty type of person...Hopefully that all will change....

INFLUENCERS...

2010-11-29T13:13:00.001-05:00

I hope to be an influence on someone one day...

INFLUENCERS FULL VERSION from R+I creative on Vimeo.

[CDQ] Lil Kim - Black Friday (Nicki Minaj Diss) [No Tags/Dirty/Full]

2010-11-27T22:10:00.000-05:00

I thought this was funny as hell personally....Kim went in on not just her but the whole Camp

On the P90X grind...

2010-11-25T13:29:00.001-05:00

Cenk Uygur To Gays: The GOP "Just Isn't That Into You"

2010-11-11T10:40:00.000-05:00

LOL TRUTH.

formspring.me

2010-10-27T15:03:00.001-04:00

Did a shoot, now kinda bored. so ask me anything....

OK SHE WON ME OVER

2010-08-28T12:38:00.004-04:00

I haven't been the biggest Nicki fan....but i like a lot of her verses on people's albums....but the fact that she killed JAY-Z, KANYE, and ROCK on one track...ok I gotta bow down now. Her VIBE magazine helped me like her more as well.... lol

"Pull up in the monster automobile gangster
with a bad b-tch that came from Sri Lanka
yeah I’m in that Tonka, colour of Willy Wonka
you could be the King but watch the Queen conquer
ok first things first I’ll eat your brains
then I’mma start rocking gold teeth and fangs
cause that’s what a muthaf-cking monster do
hairdresser from Milan, thats the monster do
monster Giuseppe heel that’s the monster shoe
Young Money is the roster and the monster crew
and I’m all up all up all up in the bank with the funny face
and if I’m fake I aint notice cause my money aint
so let me get this straight wait I’m the rookie
but my features and my shows ten times your pay?
50k for a verse, no album out!
yeah my money’s so tall that my barbie’s gotta climb it
hotter than a middle eastern climate
find it Tony Matterhorn dutty wine it
while it, nicki on them titties when I sign it
how these n-ggas so one-track minded
but really really I don’t give a F-U-C-K
forget barbie f-ck nicki so she’s fake
she’s on a diet but my pockets eating cheesecake
and I’ll say bride of Chucky is Child’s play
just killed another career it’s a mild day
besides ‘Ye they can’t stand besides me
I think me, you and Am [Amber Rose] should menage friday
pink wig thick ass give em whip lash
I think big get cash make em blink fast
now look at what you just saw, this is what you live for
aaaahhh, I’m a muthaf-cking monster!"

I LOVE INTERNET TALENT

2010-07-10T01:02:00.003-04:00

If looks weren't everything, we'd have a much better crop of talent selling major nowadays, because Miss Joelle...KILLED anything Rihanna COULD do.

He was being real on this...

2010-06-26T20:05:00.002-04:00

I'm not a 50 Cent fan and he usually says shit to incite beef or interest in him, but he was right on this shit right here

I have a Sister Blog

2010-06-18T22:14:00.004-04:00

I established another blog in conjunction with this one:

Haus der Warhol Experience.

Check it out! Think of this blog as the left side of my brain, and the other as the right side of my brain, more artistic, than this will be...

formspring.me

2010-05-16T20:02:00.001-04:00

I'm bored ask me a GOOD question http://formspring.me/danielwarhol

The Truly "Un-Thinkable"

2010-05-12T19:25:00.003-04:00

Alicia Keys' new video of her song with Drizzy is finally out, called "Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready)" Aside from being pretty much the only song worth liking on the new album of hers, the song itself took on a new meaning with the video, attacking the issue of interracial dating. Some people would accuse Alicia Keys, but since she is half white, it makes the issue that much profound. I personally love the song even more now.

Just Had To Say.... (Ballroom Related)

2010-05-05T18:20:00.002-04:00

Clips like this of the ballroom scene, makes me appreciate it more for its creativity. Or how it USED to be creative....The one in the yellow top and jeans is my Overall Mother, Sinia Ebony, of the Icon House of Ebony. You can also spot Giselle Xtravaganza-Mugler walking the runway in the red dress....and you even see MTV'S The Real World's Aneesa and in the yellow dress and blonde wig, Amber Rose.....or should i say "Paris Karan"

Interracial Dating....

2010-05-03T13:52:00.004-04:00

So on facebook me and a couple of Indiana University's best African American black male minds (LOL) all have this running thread that has lasted for two years+...we talk about anything and everything...well since the Chilli show has come out on VH1...there have been many words involving that, concerning black women, their high standards, and interacial dating....

So my boy Ian's younger brother Ashley hit the thread up with a question, and he asked this:

Question to all forum members: Did the fact of being an independent women derive from slavery?????

Referring to women in general. So my boy Rodney responded with this:

Nah because I think n the US women in general are more independent. It can also be considered a Western civilization societal progression. But definitely not limited to Black women and DEFINITELY not related to slavery, in my opinion.

I felt the need to jump in on this topic due to an Essence article I read a while back that was written from the soul singer Jill Scott (Read it Here)

Jill talks in regards to Black Women's strength and about the "wince" black women in general feel about when Black brothers go to White women. She also sources slavery as a means of both black men and women coming out of struggle together and making it as a reason why there should be some sort of reason why black men and women share a sort of bond....Overall i felt it was mad stupid.

and then Rodney responded asking if we all thought that black women's standards were a bit too high...and what were our overall thought on interracial dating and how it affects the Black community....I responded:

I don't wanna sound stereotypical...LOL....but I don't think ALL Black Women set their standards too high, nor do i think all black women play the victim, but i feel that their a good margin who do both, and it all can be contributed to the media's admiration of them....You can almost say that certain scrutinies they faced in history, be it their subservience to men, the abuse they faced, the objectification of their bodies (such as the Hottentot Venus dilemma) and just being called a "bitch when they display some form of dominance. I feel that has a hand in them wanting higher standards and wanting more than some women of other races probably wouldn't give a fuck if men had or not...

My PERSONAL THOUGHTS on interracial dating is that love has no color...I like darker women...Africanesque women....I have been known to "shovel the snow" as well...I love Indian-esque women (The Prince complex)...my standards aren't that high in regards to aesthetics, as long as they arent slutty and carry themselves well and look somewhat attractive.

I think it COULD negatively affect the Black community, if a higher population start accepting these "lists" of what they want in a man or women, because it makes you appear close-minded and not acceptive of wanting to grow and/or EVOLVE as a person. I feel that a show like What Chilli Wants is an even more IGNORANT blow to the Black community than those celebrity dating shows were

I feel that shit shit on tv with Chilli is more coonery than the Flavor of Love spinoff shit. Because it makes us look mad stupid. true we should all have standards, but we should also be able to BEND and work things out...not run away or leave because someone is not perfect Ken to your Ghetto Fab Barbie.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO...

2010-05-02T13:51:00.001-04:00

I remember being in my junior year in high school at West Side in Gary, Indiana, and ultimately deciding to become a model. I would look at various blogs and pictures attempting to gather inspiration on how I wanted to look or what i considered to be models. Alot of pictures I saw were of Tarrice (TAR-RHUS) Love's work. I remember I hit him up for roughly three years straight asking him to work with me, and never got a reply until 2006-2007. I finally got the chance to work with him in 2007, and I was inspired by both his work ethic and creativity. I also noticed that bigger did not always mean better. He shot me with one umbrella, one broken light, a piece of construction grey background thumbtacked to the wall in a cramped apartment, and the finished result was my FAVORITE PHOTO I have ever taken.

In that picture, I was roughly 195 lbs due to my yoyo dieting. This was the final shot we took from that shoot, where he took a pair of my jeans and wrapped it around my head. It has since become my "signature picture" and many carbon copies have been present on the web from it. LOL. And he told me the truth about my pictures. "You have a gorgeous face, but your sheeittt was wack." But i respected his honesty and blunt advice. I developed a thick skin in the few years i attempted to model and it resulted in me sometimes picking up a camera and shooting myself to prove to others I could do it. It later turned into me shooting other people because they liked the pictures i shot of myself. Tarrice was one of those people who inspired me to pick up a camera, not be afraid to take risks, and never compromise my vision for ANYONE. To this day, he gives me his honest blunt opinion about my work and issues that we as photographers (BLACK photographers) come across clawing our way to the top.

One of the most fascinating things I've seen from Love is his love of fashion. He loves it so much that he has a wall of inspiration so to speak, full of various models and ads he inspired to do or have done, with his favorite being Veronica Webb. I admired his friendship with others in the people who he broke into the industry such as Andre Douglas, Brian Peters, Brandon Parker (both of them), and Jahdal Houston. He is damn near the "Prince" (artist) of photography because he does everything himself at times, from sewing, to shooting, to makeup, to etc. To work with so little and produce so much is inspiring to me.

I want to send a happy birthday to my boy Tarrice Love and many many more. No one can touch your artistry. Here are five of my favorite photos produced by Love (in No Order)

1.) Andrew Ruffin @ Red Model Management

I remember when I first tried to do something with biodegradable stuff and shot my friend Lilene in a plastic bag dress....I then saw Tarrice's stuff with this guy and it blew me away...

2.) Art Stroman @ Red Model Management

One thing I admired about Tarrice is the fine art aesthetic to his nudes, they show a sort of desire to the body, and it's always in a classy yet witty manner. I remember I saw Herb Ritts do the photo of Djimon Hounsou with the squid on his head, and when i saw these I was again blown away by the individuality Love put with a classic concept.

3.) Courtney Steele @ 301 Model Management

I have been a fan of this model before Tarrice shot him....But the concept I loved about this one is that clothes don't necessarily have to be WORN on the body in a contemporary manner to be considered a photo shoot. In the spirit of the photo he did for me, I loved that he wrapped the jeans around Steele's leg instead of making him put them on. Genius.

4.) Curin Wilkerson @ Wilhelmina Model Management

this is one of the many pictures that made me pick up a camera and want to shoot others. Curin is in a regular suit (probably not expensive at all) but in this shoot, he made it look like Armani Prive, the intensity in the eyes as well as the pose symbolized power and masculinity to me the minute I saw it.

5.) Brandon Parker (unsigned)

This was one of the very first pictures I've seen of Love, and the first of the model. To this day i STILL try to do that pose myself to no avail. This is what made me love Tarrice's nudes, because he evokes a sense of allure and lust with each one...and no nude is the same. It's like he's had sex with each person he shot through his lens, and they all turn up hot like this. It's effortless, and I hope to get to that same point someday.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

I know all of the pics i like most are of men, but I love a lot of his women's work. Especially the couple's shoots. Two i liked are below...

Lilibeth Perez

Lyndsey Scott (and Model City's Ibrahim Baaith)

also this last picture of Shyloh Wilkenson shows Love's creativity in that he created the whole outfit himself from scratch with a used Calvin Klein tee-shirt.

Shylow Wilkenson

Again I made this post not just because today was tarrice's bday, but also I beleive in giving credit where it is due, and he is VERY UNDERRATED when it comes to being one of the BADDEST PHOTOGRAPHERS OUT RIGHT NOW IN NEW YORK...and I am honored to be amongst the people he corresponds with and reaches out a hand to and/or give advice.

Happy Birthday Mr. Love.

Check out his blog HERE.

The "Judith" Syndrome (CONTROVERSIAL)

2010-04-21T17:01:00.008-04:00

I am a big fan of the rock group, A Perfect Circle, specifically their first two albums Mers de Noms and The Thirteenth Step (easily my favorite album by them) They are sort of under the radar but really respected (they are a subgroup from the megagroup Tool) but anyway Maynard James Keenan, the lead frontman of A Perfect Circle, on the album Mer de Noms (literally meaning "Sea of Names" in French), created this song "Judith" which is my second favorite song on the album (the first being "3 Libras"). However, what intrigued me besides the guitar licks and the drum solo, but moreso Maynard's lyrics. The backstory of the album Mers de Noms is that every song was named about a person that Maynard actually knew. "Judith" was about Maynard's mother. She was a very religious woman who suffered from Cancer for roughly 10,000 days (thus the name of Tool's album of the same name) or roughly 27-28 years. This in turn left her paralyzed, and yet she still kept her faith in God. Maynard questioned her reasons for doing so, when he ultimately let her die, by saying things that she was ultimately free of sin, not killing anyone or rebuking God in general, and yet many people who did do evil were able to roam free, while those who were innocent died.

He eventually blamed God for letting her die. It's a very powerful song, which led me thinking over the years about my own ties to religion, and the ways in which good people tend to die, or evil individuals tend to go free without punishment. I ultimately sucked it up to my upbringings in religion, believing that there is a place that is better for us in "heaven", while the earth will be left to the spawn of Satan. But this led me to question my faith in Christianity, in which people warped the religion to something that is ultimately untrue to the teachings of God. You then have many bible beaters who pick and choose passages to argue their points, taking them out of context. This led to many of the hardships of discrimination we face today, be it race, class, and sexual orientation choices. This is reason why I converted (or what i call "reverted") to Islam, in the sense that many of the teachings within Christianity are true, but it is simply unfinished, in which the Qu'Ran makes sense of things I couldn't being a Christian. However, I find things that other followers of Islam do that i find conflict in. I have been told that tattooing is harem (and since my last i said i would not get anymore, because i wanted to be a true Muslim), but i also saw people who were born into Islam who have tattoos, and it makes me wonder, how much is truly harem.

I also have a lot of things that Maynard felt with his mother that i feel with my own "father". He is currently in Prison, and is probably one of the most complex people I have ever met. It strikes me so odd that he is so devoted to his religion, yet he is still confound to doing crime. Alot of things that are considered sins to Allah t'allah, such as drinking, and also participating in sexual relations with men. Not to mention that he does white collar crimes (which is usually what he gets caught on, but if he does Blue collar, it's usually in a Robin Hood manner, in order to feed himself..) He knows how i felt about craft, so he never let me privy to him doing it....in fact i remember last summer he didnt want to tell me he was gonna go back to writing checks because he couldn't stand being in his cell (what he called the halfway house) waiting for a mild 100-200 dollars to roll in every other week...but i understand why he does it...and after more knowledge from his mouth about his experience, i realize that even more....IU also realize that Allah is oft-merciful and oft-forgiving, so hopefully, he gives him the strength to do what he NEEDS to do when he gets out...

that's it for now...

My Baby is Back in Pure Form...

2010-04-21T16:40:00.004-04:00

I think that this shows Ciara back to her roots in where she started with a touch of the new...Me personally, i have always been a fan of Ciara since she came out with "Goodies" and was glad she brought the element of dance that has been long missing since the days of Janet Jackson. Her last album, "Fantasy Ride" wasn't her best record, but it is still underrated because it was such a drastic change from both "Goodies" and the avant effort "Evolution". Hopefully this song shows more of the Ciara we all know and love, because her moves in this video trumps anything your favorite singer probably put out....She's reaching for that card she had before.

Her new album is called "Basic Instinct", based off of Sharon Stone's character, but i also believe it carries a double entendre of going back to her roots, be it in a cocky, sexual, and yet confident manner.

This single "Ride" features her "cousin" Ludacris, who she has collaborated with since her beginnings on four songs now (1st being "Oh" from "Goodies", "High Price" off of Fantasy Ride, and of course the "How Low" remix from his Battle of the Sexes album.

i'm back

2010-04-04T17:41:00.001-04:00

i'm gonna write something soon....

do you ever talk to montreca?

2010-03-06T18:20:00.001-05:00

I used to...haven't really felt a need to reach out to her....and i'm sure it is viceversa.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-03-06T16:48:00.001-05:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/danielwarhol

We Are The World...

2010-02-22T12:16:00.002-05:00

Here is the YOUTUBE version (they used all real people from the internet...personally i think this is WAYYYYY better than the 2010 celebrity remake)

Michael would've been proud

Sade on the Wanda Sykes show

2010-02-22T03:29:00.004-05:00

I thought this was funny as hell...bc alot of people know that Sade doesn't like interviews much, and her recent publicity tour was simply her performing "Soldier of Love" without any interviews...Just up and out....and she has sold Gold in her first week back...

sade on twss
by yardie4lifever2

formspring.me

2010-02-17T15:43:00.001-05:00

Do you still have Crueler Intentions? If so, do you still write?

lol...you must be one of my friends from middle school because I wrote it then....as well as a play based on the Player's Club. I THINK I still have it...but of course i know it still...I still write actually. I have been trying to get back into my pop journalism, but every now and then I write a short story.

Ask me anything

I SAID, Do YOU WANNA SEE MY X

2010-02-16T20:13:00.002-05:00

no words for this commercial.....Calvin Klein always has the best commercials and ads to me...

2010-02-12T18:15:00.001-05:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/danielwarhol

formspring.me

2010-02-12T17:10:00.001-05:00

What is your favorite movie?

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the Gene Wilder one) with Cruel Intentions as a close second

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-02-12T17:03:00.001-05:00

You said you were bi-sexual but the explanation cutoff. Say that again.

is there some reason why you wanna know my sexual identity?

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-02-12T16:58:00.001-05:00

what are your favorite websites to visit...

Twitter First...then Facebook, and Blogger..i frequent blogs alot..

2010-02-12T12:45:00.001-05:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/danielwarhol

formspring.me

2010-02-12T12:44:00.001-05:00

If there was one person in the world that you could sleep with, who would it be?

Janet Jackson

formspring.me

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What's your favorite kind of snack to eat?

Tori Kelly - "Only Girl (In The World)" by Rihanna

Video: Diana Ross + All 5 Children on Oprah [Entire Episode]

BLACK LOVE

I love this kid...

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE THE QUEEN....

This was funny.....

THIS TOPS EVERY BEYONCE BITCH MOMENT

Malik Wright shows why he is the 40 Million Dollar man.

POWERFUL MESSAGE FROM MARSHA

"Erratic Plus"- New Year, Blah Blah Blah

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Day 64 of P90X

#Random I Have to Admit....

I Love Magazines

Doll Face

I Loved Bjork for this video.

To Lee McQueen, With Love...

QUACK is CRACK

As an African-American male model, I've taken immediate notice to the fact that you often chose subjects of color in your photos and art. How do you answer when OTHERS ask you, "Why is that? How do you go about selecting & working with your models?"

"Erratic" (Streams of Consciousness)

INFLUENCERS...

[CDQ] Lil Kim - Black Friday (Nicki Minaj Diss) [No Tags/Dirty/Full]

On the P90X grind...

Cenk Uygur To Gays: The GOP "Just Isn't That Into You"

formspring.me

OK SHE WON ME OVER

I LOVE INTERNET TALENT

He was being real on this...

I have a Sister Blog

formspring.me

The Truly "Un-Thinkable"

Just Had To Say.... (Ballroom Related)

Interracial Dating....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO...

The "Judith" Syndrome (CONTROVERSIAL)

My Baby is Back in Pure Form...

i'm back

do you ever talk to montreca?

formspring.me

We Are The World...

Sade on the Wanda Sykes show

formspring.me

I SAID, Do YOU WANNA SEE MY *X*

Corinne Bailey Rae's "Paris Nights/New York Mornings"

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I SAID, Do YOU WANNA SEE MY X